a lot of things that once held a very impt meaning to me have swept past me.

things that once i held so dearly lies tattered in the deepest sorrows of my wallet.
things that i once protected like a dragon and worked tirelessly for, lies broken by my own actions.
the people i once respected become disgraced and i look at them with disdain.
those who i once loved to be close to are now so far out of reach, they're in their own world while i have no where to go.

last year, i thought to myself.

wouldn't it be good to be alone?

nobody could break my heart, since there was nobody.
nobody could betray me, since there was nobody.
nobody could do anything to me.

and its come true.

but...
nobody being here breaks my heart.
nobody betraying me makes me dull.
nobody doing anything to or for me makes me... sad.

saw this at a once close friend's blog today.

it goes something like ,"the saddest person is one who is sad but smiles and says "i'm happy for you" " or something like that.

no wonder i'm always emo, i refuse to accept my own sadness.
no wonder i'm unstable. happy like hell also won't make me even.

to me, maybe i'll learn something from this.

that when you think you're too good, you become the stupidest person ever.

i think, i should stop moping around.

i have things to return to my classmates.