its just retarded and stupid.
one question.
one game.
one pass,
one shot,
one basket.
(onemanga-.- sidetrack, lol)
one spam.
one train.
one waste time,
one clip,
one maths paper.
one day,
one last tchrs day concert.
one last thing i regret the most for now.
is to ever doubt helping you, 6 months ago.
thanks to that, i'm this unstable thing everyone sees, wow.
hell. time to get back up. alone.
isn't it normal for me?
to choose to walk my own path, instead of floating arnd others?
i must be off target.
for 6months-.-
one day, i saw someone very pretty.
she was mild mannered and quiet, but she had a fiery temper you could feel burning gently while sitting near her.(no, its not you, so don't worry-.-)
she was kinda cute (minus ugly) when she was angry.
she was short and had short hair, but she was really strong. for a girl.
she was also very smart.
sitting beside her for two years, i learnt very little about her because she said very little. everything was serious, because i'm tongue tied around girls. even until now.
we were friends, but our closeness would only be for distance, not for friendship.
after all this time of hating, disliking and scorning her, i think i kinda start to know how she felt.
there are always two sides to a story.
all this while, i only knew the story of my pain and suffering losing a friend.
i never found out how she felt about it.
i never figured out how she must have been troubled by an idiot spamming her with msgs that don't make sense.
i never figured out how it felt to be tailed all over the place.
thinking that its so smart, the frog dies of its stupidity.
it fails to feel the water boiling gently under its own skin.
if i could, i'd apologise.
but there's nothing to say, i guess.
when my sin of being ignorant goes unrealised, so many things happen without me seeing.
i should start thinking of others more, in the right way.
i'm not the centre of everything, other than myself.
i'm just being inconsiderate if i dont think of others.
right now, as i type all this, i wonder how my life would have been different without that genius in and out of my life.
its the last year in this sch.
it really sucked big time this last year.
but i was ignorant for 3 years.
now that i see more, its feels much lighter, much better.
there's so many wrongs i wanna right, but i'm not superman.
i can only try.
and it won't always work, it may turn out for the worst.
forgive me please?
i know i've wronged you.
and that you havent forgiven me ever since 2 years ago.
like teck said, i shouldnt leave this school with regrets.
she was mild mannered and quiet, but she had a fiery temper you could feel burning gently while sitting near her.(no, its not you, so don't worry-.-)
she was kinda cute (minus ugly) when she was angry.
she was short and had short hair, but she was really strong. for a girl.
she was also very smart.
sitting beside her for two years, i learnt very little about her because she said very little. everything was serious, because i'm tongue tied around girls. even until now.
we were friends, but our closeness would only be for distance, not for friendship.
after all this time of hating, disliking and scorning her, i think i kinda start to know how she felt.
there are always two sides to a story.
all this while, i only knew the story of my pain and suffering losing a friend.
i never found out how she felt about it.
i never figured out how she must have been troubled by an idiot spamming her with msgs that don't make sense.
i never figured out how it felt to be tailed all over the place.
thinking that its so smart, the frog dies of its stupidity.
it fails to feel the water boiling gently under its own skin.
if i could, i'd apologise.
but there's nothing to say, i guess.
when my sin of being ignorant goes unrealised, so many things happen without me seeing.
i should start thinking of others more, in the right way.
i'm not the centre of everything, other than myself.
i'm just being inconsiderate if i dont think of others.
right now, as i type all this, i wonder how my life would have been different without that genius in and out of my life.
its the last year in this sch.
it really sucked big time this last year.
but i was ignorant for 3 years.
now that i see more, its feels much lighter, much better.
there's so many wrongs i wanna right, but i'm not superman.
i can only try.
and it won't always work, it may turn out for the worst.
forgive me please?
i know i've wronged you.
and that you havent forgiven me ever since 2 years ago.
like teck said, i shouldnt leave this school with regrets.
its not fun. its me.
its...a little better now. to me.
maybe, if i hadn't been so self righteous i'd have seen my own mistakes. lol.
but its kinda late to think of that. so, lets make things better for me.
its...kinda sad. everything passes your way just once.
trying to grasp it so tight, water will still slip through. i understand it now.
i wrote things on the board today. maybe if i had written more, everyth would be different.
i just... you know. i really miss the close bond we shared, but i know i cant, cant ever have it back again. yet i still hope against hope, that i may get it back. thats why its sick. it just...makes my day seem so sad.
hey you, thanks for talking to me. i'm not sure how you feel... but i do feel a bit lighter that i got to talk to you. so, thanks a lot.
syz told me today not to look down on myself.
i've been doing that forever.
i'm always afraid i might think that i'm too good. and it happened anyway.
i want...to be your friend again. when i'm able to hold myself together.
but you probably won't see this. and you probably wouldnt want to talk to me anymore.
its understandable, cos i keep giving you problems.
i could wallow in self pity forever.
but now, its time to get up.
someone lend me a hand? i'm not alone, am i?
or do i suck so much that iive always been alone?
maybe, if i hadn't been so self righteous i'd have seen my own mistakes. lol.
but its kinda late to think of that. so, lets make things better for me.
its...kinda sad. everything passes your way just once.
trying to grasp it so tight, water will still slip through. i understand it now.
i wrote things on the board today. maybe if i had written more, everyth would be different.
i just... you know. i really miss the close bond we shared, but i know i cant, cant ever have it back again. yet i still hope against hope, that i may get it back. thats why its sick. it just...makes my day seem so sad.
hey you, thanks for talking to me. i'm not sure how you feel... but i do feel a bit lighter that i got to talk to you. so, thanks a lot.
syz told me today not to look down on myself.
i've been doing that forever.
i'm always afraid i might think that i'm too good. and it happened anyway.
i want...to be your friend again. when i'm able to hold myself together.
but you probably won't see this. and you probably wouldnt want to talk to me anymore.
its understandable, cos i keep giving you problems.
i could wallow in self pity forever.
but now, its time to get up.
someone lend me a hand? i'm not alone, am i?
or do i suck so much that iive always been alone?
mirror post.
when its over, its over. i just gotta force myself to accept it.
isnt it great that its over?
now i can finally relax, knowing that i'm not wanted, and i'm free to go?
isnt it fun that i can join the fun loving nm who also stay and seem to do more?
isnt it fun that i get to go with other new people instead of hanging out with people i'm used to?
i feel so great.
so shiok.
its great to be like this, to be disliked by the people who dislike me and able to join others who will acknowledge my prescence. with compliments.
i cant wait to study again.
its a mirror post. what a great liar.
i'm sure my absence won't be missed by anyone.
dust in the corner of the room doesnt fill it when its there, doesnt empty it if its not.
isnt it great that its over?
now i can finally relax, knowing that i'm not wanted, and i'm free to go?
isnt it fun that i can join the fun loving nm who also stay and seem to do more?
isnt it fun that i get to go with other new people instead of hanging out with people i'm used to?
i feel so great.
so shiok.
its great to be like this, to be disliked by the people who dislike me and able to join others who will acknowledge my prescence. with compliments.
i cant wait to study again.
its a mirror post. what a great liar.
i'm sure my absence won't be missed by anyone.
dust in the corner of the room doesnt fill it when its there, doesnt empty it if its not.
the thing about people like me is they regret too much.
you know, no matter how much i miss anyone or regret anyth i don't show it. it takes a mass of analysis to see through me. why do i have to do that kind of thing...
i really really miss her as a friend, but it just seems to me that i cant do anyth right. i cant look at her without weighing her down so bad, i cant help her from behind the screens like what i did before, i just can't. i became too complacent, i've lived too well.
thinking back, i was a better guy when my mum was sick. i was straight, stiff and violent, but i was upright, strong and had a clear vision. i know what i want to do. but now i dont. its all blurry. i told her many times to give me that slap, but i got this instead. maybe she'll slap me if i do it ask this time? isnt it high time i awake?
two days ago i tried to touch a young bird. i moved slow and gentle, but it was still too scared to move. finally, it flew away.
i'm just a scary being. i simply dunno how to talk nicely to girls or guys yet.
but i really want to. i just...
i dunno. what am i? just a liar?
you know, no matter how much i miss anyone or regret anyth i don't show it. it takes a mass of analysis to see through me. why do i have to do that kind of thing...
i really really miss her as a friend, but it just seems to me that i cant do anyth right. i cant look at her without weighing her down so bad, i cant help her from behind the screens like what i did before, i just can't. i became too complacent, i've lived too well.
thinking back, i was a better guy when my mum was sick. i was straight, stiff and violent, but i was upright, strong and had a clear vision. i know what i want to do. but now i dont. its all blurry. i told her many times to give me that slap, but i got this instead. maybe she'll slap me if i do it ask this time? isnt it high time i awake?
two days ago i tried to touch a young bird. i moved slow and gentle, but it was still too scared to move. finally, it flew away.
i'm just a scary being. i simply dunno how to talk nicely to girls or guys yet.
but i really want to. i just...
i dunno. what am i? just a liar?
you know what's called never learn from mistakes?
its when you repeat the mistake again and again when people already tell you to stop.
and thats exactly what i've been doing, for almost a year.
how can a person who can see so well be so damn blind?
yah, well. thats what i did.
cause of that, i lost more than one friend. and its not like i have a lot. a friend is more than classmate. its a person who when needs help, you'll go that extra mile to help. and i lost them. the people who mean a lot to me are all gone. haha. wow, i'm so dumb.
well, i've lost these friendships, and more of others that i havent listed or realised.
c-jan2008-aug-2009
cz-feb2006-aug2009
tc-feb2006-aug2009
lw-oct2008-aug2009
first people to lose. and the people who mean the most to me as well.
maybe, it wouldnt kill me to just stop violenting and listen.
but nobody tries to restrain me. where are you, the one who will restrain me? if its me, why haven't i learnt my own soul?
its when you repeat the mistake again and again when people already tell you to stop.
and thats exactly what i've been doing, for almost a year.
how can a person who can see so well be so damn blind?
yah, well. thats what i did.
cause of that, i lost more than one friend. and its not like i have a lot. a friend is more than classmate. its a person who when needs help, you'll go that extra mile to help. and i lost them. the people who mean a lot to me are all gone. haha. wow, i'm so dumb.
well, i've lost these friendships, and more of others that i havent listed or realised.
c-jan2008-aug-2009
cz-feb2006-aug2009
tc-feb2006-aug2009
lw-oct2008-aug2009
first people to lose. and the people who mean the most to me as well.
maybe, it wouldnt kill me to just stop violenting and listen.
but nobody tries to restrain me. where are you, the one who will restrain me? if its me, why haven't i learnt my own soul?
chasing something so fervently. you lose the most impt thing you were carrying.
lol, to day was kinda the sickest day for me?
as in ill, sick. i felt horrible when going to sch. havent felt any different for 2 months alrd. haha. i wonder if i shld get used to it.
when we look back at things we said and done, we realise the countless errors, misconception and mistakes we made. we kinda wanna regret it, but time is not as forgiving as god. so what can we do if we cant undo the wrong we've done? tell me? cos i rly wna know.
sometimes, as humans, we overstep our boundaries and assume superhuman roles. assume that we're up there, the best. that everyth revolves around us. and then we get high, thinking we cant be brought down. hmm. maybe i shouldnt use we? kays, how about i try use i. its simpler. thinking i cant ever fall down. a saying goes, the higher we climb, the harder we fall. and i fall. and everyth is too late for me. and the best part is, thinking i'm still invincible, i try to climb again and fall, again. i never seem to learn.
enlighten me, oh friends. lol. wdv.
i mean, tell me. sometimes, the greatest, most impt little things in life seem to fade out of sight. just because we cant see air dun mean we don't need it. see? just because we hate the guitar sound don't mean we dont like it. every person is guided by our own personal bias. its time to snap out of it. i'm getting lost in my own world, and she who saved me before isn't here to save me again. its my fault, though. everyth can blame me, seriously. really.
now that you dislike me, care to slap me and wake me up?
sometimes friends hurt each other so they learn. no matter how weird or strange people think it is. you should know that. even though... i'm not the right person to say this, and the effect is lost cause its me who said it.
i'm sorry. nvm just don't cut it anymore. i really wronged this time.
as in ill, sick. i felt horrible when going to sch. havent felt any different for 2 months alrd. haha. i wonder if i shld get used to it.
when we look back at things we said and done, we realise the countless errors, misconception and mistakes we made. we kinda wanna regret it, but time is not as forgiving as god. so what can we do if we cant undo the wrong we've done? tell me? cos i rly wna know.
sometimes, as humans, we overstep our boundaries and assume superhuman roles. assume that we're up there, the best. that everyth revolves around us. and then we get high, thinking we cant be brought down. hmm. maybe i shouldnt use we? kays, how about i try use i. its simpler. thinking i cant ever fall down. a saying goes, the higher we climb, the harder we fall. and i fall. and everyth is too late for me. and the best part is, thinking i'm still invincible, i try to climb again and fall, again. i never seem to learn.
enlighten me, oh friends. lol. wdv.
i mean, tell me. sometimes, the greatest, most impt little things in life seem to fade out of sight. just because we cant see air dun mean we don't need it. see? just because we hate the guitar sound don't mean we dont like it. every person is guided by our own personal bias. its time to snap out of it. i'm getting lost in my own world, and she who saved me before isn't here to save me again. its my fault, though. everyth can blame me, seriously. really.
now that you dislike me, care to slap me and wake me up?
sometimes friends hurt each other so they learn. no matter how weird or strange people think it is. you should know that. even though... i'm not the right person to say this, and the effect is lost cause its me who said it.
i'm sorry. nvm just don't cut it anymore. i really wronged this time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)