the thing about people like me is they regret too much.

you know, no matter how much i miss anyone or regret anyth i don't show it. it takes a mass of analysis to see through me. why do i have to do that kind of thing...

i really really miss her as a friend, but it just seems to me that i cant do anyth right. i cant look at her without weighing her down so bad, i cant help her from behind the screens like what i did before, i just can't. i became too complacent, i've lived too well.

thinking back, i was a better guy when my mum was sick. i was straight, stiff and violent, but i was upright, strong and had a clear vision. i know what i want to do. but now i dont. its all blurry. i told her many times to give me that slap, but i got this instead. maybe she'll slap me if i do it ask this time? isnt it high time i awake?

two days ago i tried to touch a young bird. i moved slow and gentle, but it was still too scared to move. finally, it flew away.

i'm just a scary being. i simply dunno how to talk nicely to girls or guys yet.

but i really want to. i just...

i dunno. what am i? just a liar?