its not fun. its me.

its...a little better now. to me.

maybe, if i hadn't been so self righteous i'd have seen my own mistakes. lol.
but its kinda late to think of that. so, lets make things better for me.

its...kinda sad. everything passes your way just once.
trying to grasp it so tight, water will still slip through. i understand it now.

i wrote things on the board today. maybe if i had written more, everyth would be different.
i just... you know. i really miss the close bond we shared, but i know i cant, cant ever have it back again. yet i still hope against hope, that i may get it back. thats why its sick. it just...makes my day seem so sad.

hey you, thanks for talking to me. i'm not sure how you feel... but i do feel a bit lighter that i got to talk to you. so, thanks a lot.

syz told me today not to look down on myself.
i've been doing that forever.
i'm always afraid i might think that i'm too good. and it happened anyway.
i want...to be your friend again. when i'm able to hold myself together.

but you probably won't see this. and you probably wouldnt want to talk to me anymore.

its understandable, cos i keep giving you problems.

i could wallow in self pity forever.

but now, its time to get up.

someone lend me a hand? i'm not alone, am i?

or do i suck so much that iive always been alone?